[Article] "Why Can't You Just Get Dressed?!"—How to Check In with Your Patience Tolerance
- Jennifer Ellis, LCSW
- Sep 23
- 2 min read
It’s 8:35 a.m. You need to be out the door by 8:45 to make the 8:55 school drop-off. You asked your child to get dressed 15 minutes ago. You walk into their room, and there they are: sitting on the floor in their underwear, building a 400-piece LEGO set like they’ve got all the time in the world.
What. Are. You. Doing?!?! Are you kidding me right now?!
You can feel yourself short-circuiting, steam practically billowing out of your ears. Maybe this time, though, you manage to stay calm. You take a deep breath and say something gentle like, “Okay, honey. It’s really time to put your pants on. We need to leave for school soon.”
You walk away, finish packing the lunchbox, maybe even brush your own teeth (a luxury, really). You come back...
Now there’s a full LEGO city on the floor.
And this time? You snap. Your voice is sharp, your irritation spills out, and your child jumps at the sudden change.
Sound familiar? Or is this just a uniquely chaotic feature of my house?
Why Mornings Feel So Hard
Kids don’t experience time and schedules the way we do. And honestly? That can be kind of beautiful. They’re not caught in the hustle. They’re following curiosity, creativity, connection. Sometimes I wish I could live in that flow too—just get lost in something joyful and not feel the weight of time pressing down.
But we’re the grown-ups now. And with that comes the pressure of timelines, jobs, drop-offs, expectations, and endless to-dos.
What we often forget is that our urgency can actually increase anxiety and resistance in our kids. Our tone. Our stress. Our unrealistic expectations. Our attempt to juggle it all perfectly.
So what can we do? We start with the only thing we can control: ourselves.
How to Check In with Your Patience Tolerance
Follow these prompts to help you reset in the moment.
IDENTIFY YOUR TRIGGER
It might feel like your half-dressed child is the trigger, but dig deeper. Is it the fear of being late? The pressure of a packed day?
NOTICE THE SIGNS
What are the first clues you're hitting your limit? Feeling rushed, snappy, overwhelmed?
BODY CHECK-IN
Where do you feel it? Clenched jaw, tight shoulders, rising heat?
MINDFUL PAUSE
Inhale through your nose for 4 counts. Exhale through your mouth for 4 counts. Repeat. Come back to your center.
Give yourself a little grace. These moments don’t define you; they’re just part of the dance of parenting.
You’ve got this. Pants will be worn eventually. Probably.
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