[Article] You're Not an Angry Parent, You're Overstimulated
- Jennifer Ellis, LCSW
- Apr 19
- 2 min read
Before we become parents, many of us don’t really understand the meaning of being overstimulated—until it hits us, and then it becomes a very real, daily thing.
You’ve got a mental checklist that feels about a mile long—meal prep, laundry, remembering to buy toothpaste, keeping your little one entertained while trying to steal five seconds of peace ... and then there’s that constant touch from your kids. "Mom! Mom! MOM!"
And then, if you’re like me, you might even hear your partner’s chewing from across the room. It’s enough to make you feel like your head’s about to explode!
Before you know it, you're snapping, raising your voice, and feeling utterly guilty about it. Trust me, you’re not alone in this. We’ve all been there. But here's the thing:
YOU'RE NOT AN ANGRY PARENT. YOU'RE OVERSTIMULATED.
So, what’s going on behind the scenes? Our sensory systems—those things responsible for how we experience the world—are working overtime. Sound, light, touch, temperature ... everything feels more intense. The sound of toys clanging, the flickering lights, your kids constantly touching you or demanding your attention—it’s all coming at you at once, and your nervous system starts to short-circuit.
Your body is trying to manage all this input, and sometimes, it just can’t handle it. So, we end up feeling really overwhelmed.
3 QUICK & SIMPLE WAYS TO SOOTHE YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM
COLD THERAPY
If you're feeling overwhelmed, give your nervous system a reset with something cold. An ice roller or splashing cold water on your face can instantly trigger a calming response. This helps lower the intensity of sensory overload and bring you back to the present moment.
TURN OFF THE LIGHTS
Sometimes, the lights (especially fluorescent) can make everything feel more intense. Try dimming or turning them off for a few minutes to reduce visual stimulation.
STEP OUTSIDE
Taking just a few minutes outside, even if it’s just to stand in your yard or sit on the porch, can help reset your body. The fresh air, a change of scenery, and the quiet of nature (or just a break from your busy home) can help calm your nervous system.
The guilt? It’s normal. But remember, you're human. The goal isn’t perfection—it's giving yourself grace when things get tough. You're doing your best, and that's enough.
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