[PDF Download] Managing Holiday Overload: A Plan for Parents and Kids
- Jennifer Ellis, LCSW
- 20 hours ago
- 4 min read
Updated: 17 hours ago
Welp, it’s here. How did that happen? I’m pretty sure it was literally just August and I was chilling at the pool with my family soaking up the sun. Reality check: it’s actually November and we are officially in the holiday season.
With the holidays comes a lot—excitement, great food and desserts (my personal favorite), time off school, schedule changes, family gatherings, family members wearing strong perfume or way too much aftershave. In other words: the full holiday chaos package.
As adults, we may find ourselves consumed in preparations and entertainment. It’s joyful… and stressful.
WHILE WE'RE BUSY TRYING TO MANAGE OUR OWN OVERWHELM, IT'S IMPORTANT TO CHECK IN WITH OUR KIDS DURING THIS SEASON, TOO.
Some children thrive on chaos and constant change, but many don’t, which I’m sure resonates with a lot of parents reading this.
Changes in routine can throw kids for a loop, which can lead to irritability, low frustration tolerance, or shifts in mood and behavior. Add in family gatherings with more people than usual, extra noise, music, smells, lights, and endless socializing… and it’s a recipe for overstimulation.
So for everyone’s sanity, here’s a simple, realistic plan to help. (a.k.a. How to keep the meltdowns to a minimum and the magic intact)
➡️ A one-page PDF of this plan available to download here.
Start With a Preview: “Here’s What Today Looks Like, Buddy”
Kids feel safer when they know what’s coming.
Give a short, simple rundown of the day.
Try kid-language: “We’re going to Grandma’s. There will be lots of people. If your body starts feeling too ‘zoomy’ or ‘tired,’ you can come find me.”
Bonus: Let them pick one thing to look forward to: cookies, helping carry a present, wearing their favorite holiday socks.
WHY THIS WORKS
Predictability lowers anxiety and gives them a sense of control.
Set a Family Signal for “I Need a Break”
Create a secret signal they can use without making a scene.
For little ones: a hand sign like tapping their nose.
For bigger kids: a word like “snowflake” or “break, please.”
WHY THIS WORKS
Kids don’t always have the words in the moment. A code word helps them speak up before they’re overwhelmed.
Build In Mini Reset Breaks (Before They Lose It)
Think of these as emotional stretch breaks.
Ideas:
A quick walk to get fresh air
Sitting in the car for five minutes of quiet
Playing with a calming toy
A snack or hydration break
WHY THIS WORKS
It regulates their nervous system before it hits the red zone.
Protect Their Sensory Limits (And Don’t Apologize for It)
Holiday environments can be… a lot.
Adjust as needed:
Headphones
Limiting hugs/forced greetings
Finding a quieter room
Limiting the number of stops in one day
Saying no to “just stay one more hour”
WHY THIS WORKS
You’re honoring their sensory capacity, not the holiday pressure.
Create the “Calm Down Kit” You Bring Everywhere
A small, portable toolkit for emotional survival.
Fill it with:
Fidget toys
Snacks
Water
A book or coloring supplies
A comfort item
Gum or chewy snacks for sensory regulation
WHY THIS WORKS
Kids regulate better with familiar, soothing tools.
Plan for the Transition Home
The hardest part is often the leaving.
Try:
A five-minute warning
A quiet, low-stimulating car ride
A grounding ritual at home (bath, dim lights, cozy pajamas, quiet play)
WHY THIS WORKS
Their nervous system needs a soft landing.
Expect Some Hard Moments, And Don’t Take Them Personally
Overstimulation isn’t misbehavior, it’s biology.
Remind yourself:
“I didn’t do anything wrong. Their nervous system just hit its limit.”
Kids aren’t trying to ruin the day. They’re trying to cope with something bigger than their toolkit.
As you move through the holiday season, try to keep in mind that our kids aren’t being “too much.” They’re just trying to make sense of a world that suddenly got louder, brighter, and busier overnight.
A little preparation, a little compassion, and a few built-in breaks can go a long way in helping them enjoy the parts that truly matter. And honestly, it helps us enjoy it more, too.
Take what helps, leave the rest, and remember:
THE HOLIDAYS DON'T NEED TO BE LOUDER, FASTER, OR BUSIER TO BE MEANINGFUL.
You’re doing great.
Free PDF Download
To make it easier to implement, download and print off this plan on Managing Holiday Overload.
Know a friend who needs this, too? Share it with them!
If you reside in New Jersey and need some more help navigating the season, contact us for a therapy consultation.
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